Piranha 3D (2010)

A poster paying homage to the original film, which payed homage to Jaws. Circle of life.

Not many people are very familiar with Alexandre Aja, so I may have been the only person I know that saw this movie initially ONLY because he was the director. He did the re-make of The Hills Have Eyes, Mirrors, and Haute Tension (High Tension for the US theatrical release), among others. These movies (with the exception of Haute Tension, which he also co-wrote) aren’t really known for their stories. No, what Alexandre Aja is probably most known for is his special effects. He doesn’t over-use and abuse CGI, so I knew when I saw a preview for this that he was the man for the job.

Was I right?

Splice (2009)

If Species made a sequel with a sort of X-Files romantic vibe and added trace amounts of questionable moral justifications and gray areas filled with inter-species pedophilia and corporate greed all driven by pretty decent CGI, you’d have this little gem.

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

It’s 1977, and Roger Moore is playing Bond for the third time and behind the scenes, the franchise enters new territory with an original script that uses only the title of Flemming’s 10th book.

Some thoughts on the banning of Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)

So much fail.

In case you were unaware, there is an upcoming sequel to Human Centipede that has been made and is due out shortly. There is much hullaballoo surrounding this film and it has been banned in England (and I’m sure other nations will follow suit). As a self-proclaimed local horror expert, I thought I’d weigh in on the topic.

DON’T THINK ABOUT FRUIT.

The Wolfman (2010)

"The Legend is Alive" it says. The legend may be alive, but that's pretty much it.

Joe Johnston, known for directing such monumental awesomeness as Jumanji, Jurassic Park III, and The Pagemaster steps up to the plate to try his hand at redoing a classic horror film (it is worth noting that he directed the soon-to-be-released Captain America movie too). So, yet another director paying homage to an old movie. How did he fare? Let’s just say (for lack of a hilarious joke), he failed.

Antichrist (2009)

This is the LEAST provacative image I could find.

I have avoided posting a review of this movie for fear of not being able to write on without offending someone, but who cares? Well, I do. I bought the Criterion Collection version of this Blu Ray after waiting months and months for it to be released, and settled in to watch it with some close friends… big mistake. No amount of Wikipedia plot spoilers could have prepared me for what I saw.

The Obligatory Ambiguous Update Incoming Post

Yeah.

School is tough this semester. Aside from having to read the entirety of John Milton’s work (prose and poetry), I am taking a 5 credit hour Biological Anthropology course. Needless to say, I have had less time to watch horror films. But I promise to make time, people.

Coming up, reviews for:

Hatchet II

Antichrist (2009)

Of Darkness

and many, many more.

–PANTS OUT.

Moon (2009)

Outer Space sucks, but this movie doesn't.

In case you haven’t heard, outer space pretty much sucks.  There is so much that can go wrong out there.  I happen to enjoy oxygen, something that is in short supply in space which I unfortunately depend on.  Then there are black holes, aliens, and space dragons to be worried about, so I’ll just stay here on Earth, if you don’t mind.  That being said, there is some element of tension I feel when I peruse science fiction material that takes place in the vacuum of space, so I approached Moon expecting a fair amount of anxiety, as it contains this space setting and is also described as being about “a man’s solitary stint in space”. My expectations were not too far off, but there was a healthy amount of tension to keep the plot moving and me interested. 

Human Centipede: First Sequence (2010)

The most safe version I could find. Full of lul.

Oh the anticipation. Me, anticipating this movie, you anticipating a blog update and my opinion of this little gem. So what did I think?

Updates incoming!

Sorry for the absence, people. School
has been owning me. Hard.

Anyhoo, I have a few updates coming very shortly. Human Centipede is the
first, and there will be others. For now, stroll down memory lane with some old reviews.

Welcome new readers, and thanks to you old readers as well.